Joseph! (sans his technicolor dreamcoat)

Today was one of those truly unpredictable days! If I had a crystal ball and could have foreseen what the day held, without a doubt I would have been like "whaaaat??" and crawled right back into bed!
I had delusions of getting to work at 8AM (a full hour before my usual arrival time), to complete a budget file that 'technically' should have been completed the day before. Why wasn't it done you ask? Because I had to rush home at 6:30PM yesternight to await Joseph's arrival. (Joseph is a handyman I met last weekend whilst shopping for a new wardrobe in the BK...given that the one I purchased from Williamsburg had defeated me!). Anyways, he had agreed to come by on Tuesday (ystd) to help me assemble it. Yea I know, I *side eye glanced* him as well when he offered to help...needless to say, JOSEPH WAS A NO SHOW and I had rushed home for nothing!! *grrrrrr*

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I awoke much later than I had anticipated, but ironically, I didn't leave the house till 8AM. Funny enough while getting my bearings in order, I noted that my wallet was laying on my bed, and thought to myself "omg how tragic would it be if i forgot my wallet??? tehehe" and continued along. A few minutes later, I'm walking to the subway station and am totally caught off guard by a suffocating odor coming from a construction site (I'm not gonna lie, at first I thought it was the gang of teenagers walking ahead of me!). The odor was soooooooo disgustingly overpowering, it reminded me of the time in the sixth grade when my class went on a field trip to a pig farm. Now if you've never been to a pig farm I would highly disrecommend it! There is NO need to ever venture near a pig farm...11years later, I can still remember just how bad the farm smelt and how mad I was for whoever organized said 'class trip'. I meannn, really though, what does one learn by visiting a pig farm?????
I don't even understand how I mustered up the fortitude to keep walking past the odor (guess that budget file was really callin' my name!) but next thing I know, I'm at the subway station; I reach in to pull out my metrocard which is in my wallet...my wallet which I cant seem to find in my bag!! I immediately became one of those disheveled homeless women who frantically dig through their bags for something we alll know isn't in there. After five minutes of a-wishin and a-hopin, I just sigh and walk back towards my apartment....past the pig-farm-smelling-construction site...past another gang of teenagers. I am told school is back in session. Fascinating...

Five minutes later, I locate my wallet atop my bed. Truly tragic...but not nearly as tragic as having to walk back to the subway station yet again! By this time I've angrily muttered "FML" more times than I can keep track...but it gets better, because when I get down the subway stairs, I see the exact train I need! I'm usually not the type of person that runs towards trains/buses/public transportation, but for some reason I was REALLLY trying to get to work on time, so i start running! I shouldn't even have bothered b/c the train conductor dude sees me coming and QUICKLY shuts the door. He 100% did that ish on purpose!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At first I was all sorts of livid, but then I realized that in the grand scheme of things, I had already won!!-- Sure I've missed my train, but you have to motor the B train (which is like the 2nd most disgusting train--after the J) so the joke's on youuu! At this time, I've given up alllll hope of getting to work early....*le sigh*

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Fastforward a couple of hours later, and I get a text message from Joseph saying "Call me". My first instinct is to 'tell him about himself' much like I do when I feel my time has been wasted; but I'm feeling especially PC today, despite this morning's episode. I reply with "I cannot speak as I am at my place of employment!". He replies with some shpeel about how he was sick last night and had to take Theraflu and fell asleep and thus, couldn't come set up my wardrobe.He then informs me that he can help me tonight and for some reason, I agree (fool me once, shame on me...fool me twice...."

I half expect him to show up, and I'm very surprised when he does (especially since he came all the way from Queens!). It's hard to make out what he says because he has a thick accent, but I manage to make out phrases like "pass phillips screw"; "no, that is not the one. PHILIPPS SCREW!!" The entire time he's in my apartment I have my phone by my side, ready to dial 9-1-1 just in case he goes all "THS: Serial Killers on the Loose" on me. Fortunately for me, he doesn't. As a matter of fact, he is soooo nice, I feel the need to act as a hostess and ask him if he's parched/would like something to drink. As luck would have it, he said no...which is really what I was banking on as I literalllly had nothing to offer.

1.5 hours later, Joseph is done putting together the wardrobe and has to skidazzle to his job at MTA transit. I'm dying to ask him if he is acquainted with someone who drives the B train on Weds mornings (as I would like to have a word with him), but I restrain myself. Joseph begins to walk out the door and I'm like 'urr, would you like cash or check???". He's like "haha who are you, Trump??". I was like "so cash??". I reach into my bag and offer him a couple $20 bills, but he's like "no, you don't have to pay me". WHAAAAA???! I'm like PLEASE TAKE THE $$$ (so we can end this transaction and go about our lives as best we know how). He finally obliges, takes $20 and departs.

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This was a super long post but I felt the need to tell the story of Joseph the MTA-transit-carpenter! In a city where people will go out of their way to be rude and insensible, it's tres nice to know that there are 'a few good men' out there who are willing to do good with no ulterior motives in mind! This one's for you Joseph...and all the Joseph's out there!!

p.s. The wardrobe looks great and I shall replenish during Bloomies Friends-n-Family event. holllerrr :)...Speaking of, techinocolor coats are sooo hott right now!